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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

To Odin

This morning has me in a strange state of mind between happiness and confusion.  You see, last nite after putting two very tired little boys to bed, I finished some minor prep for our road trip starting this evening (yay for road trips!), cleaned up a little, and then climbed into bed early for a change.  I was tired, but had accomplished what I needed to and felt content as I drifted off to sleep.

Upon waking this morning, I realized the boys had not woken me and relished in the fact that I got to sleep in until 6:30.  It was heaven.  I got up and made coffee and sat down at the kitchen table and listened to the birds singing outside and the quiet all around me.  It was a peaceful way to greet the morning.  6:38 rolls around and I hear their quiet whispers to each other, giggles, then the creak of their door opening and the soft patter of their little feet coming down the hall.  Aiden called out a greeting and snuggled into the couch with a few (6 or 8) favorite stuffed friends.  Odin climbs onto the couch, smiles at me and says, "Hi Mommy."

I put down my coffee and went to sit with them.  "Do you know what today is?" I asked.

"Our trip!" Aiden yells in excitement.

"What else is today?" I ask.

"Swimming!" Odin calls out.

"Yes.  What else is today? It's special,"  I prompt.

"Daddy comes home!" Odin yells out.

"It's your Birthday Odin!" Aiden says in excitement.

We both look at him, his hands on his cheeks in surprise, his little body shaking in excitement.  Such a look of surprise and delight that only a child can give.  He reaches up for me, wraps his little arms around my neck and whispers, "Thank you Mommy! Thank you for letting me have a birthday!"

I tell him he's 4 now, and not 3 1/2 anymore.  He grins.  After patting my cheek and giving me a kiss, he climbs down from the couch and stands in front of us, hands on his hips, chest thrust out and says, "Look how much bigger I got today! Aiden I'm so big huh?"

Aiden stands in front of him and says, "Yeah, but you're still pretty small.  I'm always bigger than you cause I'm older."

Any other day, the little guy would have slugged him in the gut, but today, because it's his birthday and he's excited, he reached over and patted Aiden's arm.  "I might be bigger someday Aiden."  True story little man, true story.

So... that's why my emotions are warring today.  I'm happy for him.  I'm happy I've been blessed with 4 beautiful years with him, but I'm a little sad too.  My baby is growing up.  He's really not a baby at all anymore.  He's a wonderful little boy full of such strong emotions and feelings.  As fiercely loyal and loving as he is independent (and independent he is).  He has taught me so much in the short time since I first felt him moving in my belly.  I will cherish those memories of him, but also look forward to what the years ahead will bring.  I know they'll be wonderful.

To my little boy

who isn't so little anymore.

My explorer

Map reader


lover of nature

whether cold

or warm

Friend to bugs and insects

animals that fly above us

and those that creep among us

Stealer of my coffee

and my heart

Loyal and devoted little brother

and an absolute ham.

I love you so much little big guy.
Happy Birthday.